[output_post_excerpt]

SCENE: INTRO

ENOCH: Be not afraid. The voice you are hearing is real, and I am not trying to harm you. You are not insane. This transmission is brought to you by an angel of the Lord. Hello! Enoch speaking. Voice of God. Metatron. Hi. Hope I’m not disturbing you. My message to you is completely harmless. Nobody has ever died from any of my broadcasts ever since I started speaking through a meat suit, and I count that as a huge success. Well, there was one, but I can assure you my voice had nothing to do with it. The prophet in question had a piece of shellfish go down the wrong way. Even though I specifically said BE NOT AFRAID. What are you gonna do? But you’re here! Isn’t that wonderful, that we share this moment across millennia?

Speaking of moments. This is why I’ve contacted you again. The time has come for me to record and transmit a random but crucial event. It’s important that you know what I am about to tell you. The reason why, well… that depends on what the Vortex of Events will reveal.

I am reaching out and inviting the Vortex into my mind, as I’ve done and will do many times more. It’s a sentient power older than creation, speaking a language I’m only just beginning to understand. The vision is falling into place…

(INTRO JINGLE)

SCENE: FLASHBACKS

ENOCH: We are… In a court. Pharaoh’s court. Great halls of sandstone and a man is seated on the throne. Ramses the second. On either side of him stand two priests. Before them, two men. One speaks, the other does not. The priests and the men perform a battle of word magic: turning sticks into snakes. 

FX: wobbly glitching

ENOCH:  No? We’ve skipped ahead. Roughly a month. We’re in a desert. I’ve been there before… or will be. It’s the Sinai desert. Far away from the pharaoh. So many people gathered in the shadow of a great mountain. The priests are here. Yohana and Mamre. The one who speaks is also here. Aaron. The one who doesn’t speak is gone. They have all escaped out of slavery in Egypt, but are considering turning back now that the desert is claiming their life. Their leader, the one who doesn’t speak, seems to be a hallucinating madman, and to top it all off he’s apparently run off. And his followers, six hundred thousand people, are starting to consider their options.

AARON: I don’t know what to do. He’s been up there for two days now.

YOHANA: Easy, Aaron. Their belief is strong but they need something physical to latch onto. 

MAMRE: Like an idol.

YOHANA: Don’t say idol. 

AARON: I just don’t want them to go back there. Can’t you call upon some lesser gods maybe? Do a little show until the real guy gets here.

MAMRE: We need gold. Lots of it. 

AARON: We have lots of it, we sacked Egypt, remember? 

MAMRE: Oooohh! Right! Collect it and melt it down. We’re going to give them something to worship. Just a placeholder.

YOHANA: And then we’ll make it move.

MAMRE: It can look like anything. You decide. 

FX: (a cow moos in the distance)

AARON: How about a calf?

FX: warbly glitch

BG: sound of warfare, screams, running, fire

ENOCH: The vortex jumped a couple of days, but we are in the same space. Complete devastation. Yohana and Mamre are taking cover behind a pile of corpses.

MAMRE: Fuck. This is bigger than all of us. We need to leave. 

YOHANA: I know but what do you mean leave?? We left Egypt.

MAMRE: Leave, all of this. The gods, the words, the knowledge. 

YOHANA: Oh, as long as we get out of here, I’m sure we can–

MAMRE: Sssh!

FX: beating wings, presence of the LORD

YOHANA: It’s that… god again. The true god. I’m not messing with that. Saw it rip off a guy’s head, spine and all.

FX: gore and screams

MAMRE: Do you think we can come back to court if we say we’re really really sorry?

YOHANA: I think that ship has sailed… we need new names, new life, new story. 

FX: presence of the LORD coming closer

GOD: I DON’T THINK THAT WILL BE NECESSARY. 

FX: glitch

ENOCH: We are back at court. Fifty two years later, to the day. Different Pharaoh now. Hatshepsut. She sits on the throne of her great grandfather and looks down at Yohana and Mamre. They have not aged a day.

MAMRE: You’re really sending us away, your majesty? After everything?

YOHANA: But we’ve served your family for generations.

MAMRE: Yohana. I think that’s her point. They are afraid of us.

YOHANA: Your grace. We can… we can work this out. If you will just listen, we can show you how to live longer–

ENOCH: The Pharaoh has raised her hand, indicating their time, and her patience, is up.

SCENE: QUEST FOR THE INFINITUBE

MAMRE: Can you believe that bitch!?

YOHANA: Mamre! We’ve known “that bitch” since she was born. 

MAMRE: Uuuuggghhh. That’s the whole problem. Surprised it took them this long to notice. What are we gonna tell HIM now?

YOHANA: We don’t have any options really, you remember what happened last time we tried to lie to it.

MAMRE: Or, hear me out… we could just… leave?

YOHANA: We could. But we’ll never find another god like that. It taught us so much.

MAMRE: You’re right. I’d be wondering the rest of my life how powerful we could have been if we bail now. But I- I’m starting to wonder– 

YOHANA: We’re here. Whatever happens…

MAMRE: We survive.

YOHANA: Time to face the music.

ENOCH:  They walk into a cave, moving across treacherous passages with a cat-like elegance. They have done this trek hundreds of times before.   A light from further within the cave alerts them to their God’s presence. Shrouded in a protective film of shimmering translucent dancing lights, its form is vague and anonymous. But ultimately, for their own protection. 

GOD: I PRACTICALLY HANDED YOU THIS POSITION, HOW DID YOU FUCK UP THIS BADLY? 

MAMRE: There was nothing we could have said–

YOHANA: She’d already made up her mind–

GOD: ENOUGH WITH YOUR EXCUSES. NOW I HAVE TO ACTIVATE MY CONTINGENCIES. I SHOULD SMITE YOU WHERE YOU STAND.

YOHANA: WAIT!

MAMRE: Please, I don’t want to die!

GOD: OH. AW. THAT’S CUTE. MAYBE THERE IS ONE THING YOU CAN DO TO MAKE IT UP TO ME.

YOHANA: We’ll do anything, Lord!

MAMRE: Yeah, what she said, anything.

GOD: SHUT UP, I’M THINKING. (…) I HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT THE SECURITY OF MY REALM. IT HAS BEEN BREACHED BEFORE, WHICH IS OF COURSE UNACCEPTABLE. I HAVE TRAINED MY ****** TO IMPROVE THE PROTOCOLS, AND I WOULD LIKE TO PUT THEM TO THE TEST. YOU! WILL BREAK INTO MY INNERMOST OFFICE, AND STEAL SOMETHING.

MAMRE: Just anything? Could it be inconspicuous like an inkwell?

GOD: (amused) AN INKWELL. NO. QUITE THE OPPOSITE. IT WILL BE VERY, VERY CONSPICUOUS. ONCE YOU GET IT, IT WILL BE LIKE A WASP NEST UP THERE. THE ITEM YOU WILL FETCH IS CALLED AN INFINITUBE. 

YOHANA: What’s a-

GOD: DON’T INTERRUPT ME. 

FX: Lava

YOHANA: AAH! My foot!

MAMRE: Watch out! He’s turning the ground to lava!

GOD: DON’T BE RIDICULOUS. I’M MAKING A GLASS TABLET OUT OF THE SAND. 

YOHANA: My fucking toe…

MAMRE: Let me look at it. (some moments) Don’t worry, it’s going to be fine.

GOD: THE TABLET HAS A MAP OF THE HEAVENS ETCHED INTO IT. SIMPLIFIED, FOR YOUR SIMPLE MINDS, BUT IT WILL HAVE TO DO. THIS ROOM HERE IS MY THRONE ROOM. LOOK AT IT FROM THIS ANGLE, AND YOU WILL SEE A BLUEPRINT OF GOD’S– MY THRONE. AROUND THE BACK OF MY THRONE YOU WILL FIND A SQUARE, LABELED E3. THAT’S THE PIECE I WANT.

MAMRE: Your throne, Lord? But isn’t that the most well guarded object in the whole universe? 

GOD: YES, YOU ARE CORRECT. YOU WILL HAVE TO GET PAST A MULTITUDE OF ANGELS, SOME OF THE HIGHEST ORDER. AND THE SERAPHIM. THEIR BITE WILL RENDER YOU USELESS FOR ETERNITY.

MAMRE: But we couldn’t possibly…

GOD: CORRECT AGAIN. YOU HAVE A SNOWBALL’S CHANCE IN HELL! BUT I AM NOT SENDING YOU UNPREPARED. THAT WOULD BE A POOR TEST OF SECURITY. BESIDES, YOU FRAIL CREATURES WOULD DISINTEGRATE WITHIN MINUTES. WEAR THESE.

FX: magical stones materializing and landing in the sand.

MAMRE: Alright, these necklaces are pretty but how will they help us?

YOHANA: (strained from hurting toe) They’re magic amulets, idiot. Don’t you feel it? It’s on a whole other level than regular magic.

GOD: AMULETS WITH SIGILS. WEAR THEM ON YOUR PERSON AT ALL TIMES. NEVER TAKE THEM OFF. YOU WILL BE PERCEIVED AS ANGELS, NAMED PHOS AND PHOROS.

MAMRE: That’s good and all, but did you say our bodies would disintegrate? What kind of place is your Heaven?

GOD: THE ATMOSPHERE ALONE IS FILLED WITH MULTIDIMENSIONAL RAW ENERGY. IT’S BEAUTIFUL. YOUR AMULETS WILL PROTECT YOU FROM ITS DEVASTATING GLORY.

YOHANA: So when we get there, how do we even get the part out from the throne? 

GOD: WITH A (GLITCH) OF COURSE.

YOHANA: Sorry. A… a what now? 

GOD: (GLITCH)

YOHANA: I think you got something in your throat.

GOD: I DON’T HAVE A THROAT! HOW DARE YOU IMPLY I AM ANYTHING LIKE YO- Oh… Right, the word doesn’t translate to your simple tongue. IT IS A HOLY SCREWDRIVER.

MAMRE: Oh! Haha! Of course, a screwdriver.

GOD: YOU WILL FIND IT IN MICHAELS FORGE. HERE, LET ME GIVE YOU A MORE DETAILED PLAN.

FX: Montage music

GOD: THE FLAMING SWORDS ARE SUPER OBNOXIOUS AND RUDE. AS STUPID AS THEY ARE DANGEROUS. IF THEY DECIDE TO CUT YOU, IT WILL LEAVE A BURNING MARK UP ON YOUR SOUL. KEEP THEM HAPPY AT ALL TIMES. DO WHAT THEY SAY.

MAMRE: Oh like (ahem) Hi Mr Sword, seen any flame wars lately?

GOD: NO! DON’T REMIND THEM OF THAT.

YOHANA: Hi, looking flamin hot! Can you check me in?

GOD: BETTER.

FX: Montage music

GOD: DON’T SPEAK TO ANYONE UNLESS YOU HAVE TO. ESPECIALLY DO NOT MENTION THE STATE OF ANYONE’S WINGS.

YOHANA: Hey there, fellow entity! Nice uh… feet.

GOD: NO! NO! NO! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN… THAT EUPHEMISM IS NOT FUNNY. LET’S MOVE ON. NEXT YOU WILL FIND THE ARMORY. THIS IS WHERE YOU WILL MEET MICHAEL. A FEARSOME ARCHANGEL. BE VERY CAREFUL AROUND HER. 

MAMRE: Sure, just stay quiet, keep our heads down.

GOD: YOU DO NEED TO PROVOKE HER THOUGH, THAT’S VERY MUCH A THING YOU HAVE TO DO. TO MAKE SURE SHE SENDS YOU TO WORK IN THE FORGE. THE SCREWDRIVER IS IN THE FORGE.

YOHANA: Oh so it’s some kind of a tool! 

MAMRE: Yeah makes sense it would be in a forge.

GOD: NEXT, YOU WILL HEAD FOR THE THRONE ROOM. IT IS GUARDED BY THE SERAPHIM. YOU ARE SMART, I AM SURE YOU WILL THINK OF A WAY TO GET PAST THEM. YOU WILL FIND MY THRONE INSIDE. ONCE YOU DETACH THE INFINITUBE, GO BACK THE WAY YOU CAME.

MAMRE: Is that all? Sounds easy enough.

GOD: (laughs)

FX: Montage music stops. Portal opens.

GOD: FANCY THAT. A PORTAL. IF YOU FAIL, AND SOMEHOW SURVIVE, YOU BETTER HOPE YOU DON’T SEE ME AGAIN OR I’LL SMITE YOU MYSELF. NOW, HOLD YOUR BREATH AS YOU CROSS, AND STAY AFRAID.

YOHANA: Let’s go then.

MAMRE: Here goes nothing…

FX: Transportation

SCENE: GATES OF HEAVEN

ENOCH: They arrive outside the gates of heaven. They try to not let their fear or amazement show at the otherworldly nature of this realm. Above their heads, the vastness of space is stretching out into infinity, overlooking galaxies and the forces that keep the Universe moving. The gut wrenching vertigo makes them feel like they’re going to be sucked into the void. Best to look away.

MAMRE: Is this it?

YOHANA: A better question is ‘Did God just order a heist on his own kingdom?’

MAMRE: Isn’t that a bit strange though? Sure, he wants to test security, I get that. But getting the tubething and the drivescrewer? Why doesn’t he get it himself?

YOHANA: He’s testing us to see if we’re still worthy of his time. Don’t worry about the details.

MAMRE: It doesn’t sit right with me, but I’ll follow your lead. So… this is heaven. Didn’t know what I expected, really.

YOHANA: I sort of expected peaceful clouds. Not like this, with the… whatever that is.

ENOCH: She waves her hand in the direction of the outer wall burning in multicolored smokeless flames.

MAMRE: It does seem a bit too, uh, ‘flamey’. And I feel sick.

YOHANA: Come on, that looks like an entrance.

ENOCH: As they walk, the crystal floor seems to move like a lake, their footsteps sending ripples across the surface, but it’s harder than diamond.

MAMRE: Are you sure this is the actual entrance? I don’t see any of those obnoxious swords he was talk–

FLAMING SWORD 1: Wakey wakey! 

YOHANA & MAMRE: (Startled yell/gasp)

FLAMING SWORD 1: Forgetting something?

ENOCH: It’s coming from a flaming sword. It blended in so well next to the flaming walls, they hadn’t noticed it. Yohana can’t get any words out. Are they busted already?

FLAMING SWORD 2: Oh em geeee you’re like so hot. Who’s this?

ENOCH: There’s another flaming sword, on the right side of the entrance. Both of these entities are dancing constantly, as flaming swords are inclined to do at all times.

Mamre confidently turns to the flaming sword to the left. He’s not sure where to look. Where are its eyes?

MAMRE: Yes, good day. I am Fos, this is Foros. God is glorious.

FLAMING SWORD 2: Uh-huh. And… ?

FLAMING SWORD 1: Ugh. Your sigils, dumbasses. 

ENOCH: Says the right sword, spins around, and finishes with a fierce hair flip. It has manifested some sort of blank tablet in front of them.

YOHANA: Oh, of course, here.

FX: drawing with a stylus

MAMRE: Yep.

FLAMING SWORD 2: Well your handwriting is not as nice as your face, but it checks out. You can move on through. 

FLAMING SWORD 1: Or you can stay here and party with us. 

FLAMING SWORD 2: What do you say, handsome?

MAMRE: Well, who could say no to those beautiful… uh… flames?

YOHANA: What are you doing!?

FLAMING SWORD 1: Check this out, I just learned this one today! (vocalising dance moves)

Swing down, swing right, swing it all around

Down town!

Now up and down

Now do the box cutter, uh uh!

FX: Blade swinging and burning flames

MAMRE: WOAH!

FLAMING SWORD 2: Watch it, Flim! You almost cut his beautiful form!

FLAMING SWORD 1: Should move out of the way thennnnn

YOHANA: We’ll be going now, thank you! Let’s go Ma- Phos..

MAMRE: (reluctantly) Ah, duty calls. Rain check on those dance lessons? (voice fading as it gets further away)

FLAMING SWORD 2: Come back and hang with us any time you want! Aw. He was lovely.

FLAMING SWORD 1: You’re so baaaad, Flam. You like, fall in love with every stranger that passes through. I swear, these angels. Heads full of feathers and righteousness. They’re not good for you.

FLAMING SWORD 2: Haha.. Heh. I know. You’re right. And did you see how they drew? Look at this mess!

FLAMING SWORD 1: Wait a minute… put the sigils together.

FLAMING SWORD 2: Why? Oh Ffff… Feathers. We should report this, right?

ENOCH: The intruders are well gone by the time the swords realize their terrible mistake. Dancing a bit more miserably now, they pull out a list of important names that they are now obliged to call upon. The swords know this routine. But there’s a strong urge to resist the guarantee of being yelled at by a very intimidating boss. So they do what any scared employee would do. Procrastinate and leave the problem to the next shift.

And then they forget. Because there’s only so much information a flaming sword can retain.

SCENE: NON EUCLIDEAN ENTITIES IN YOUR AREA

ENOCH: Yohana and Mamre are just about to give up on finding their way through the heavens. The great halls and corridors are ever-changing, and without the proper set of eyes, you don’t stand a chance of perceiving the layout correctly. But that’s the least of their worries. They are becoming painfully aware of the dangers that God spoke of. The fierce spirits, the monsters, the incomprehensible terrors walking, floating, or rotating through the hallways.

MAMRE: I’m not doing so good. Yohana. They are so… Ngaaah. Weird. 

YOHANA: This is not our world, we knew that going in. 

MAMRE: Yeah I know, but I mean… how do we even know if they look suspicious of us? I can read the body language of a human being, but this…

YOHANA: Yeah, the ripple thing freaks me out too. But I think we look normal to them. 

MAMRE: I’m beginning to understand why the Lord God never shows himself to us. If his underlings look like this, I mean, would you even survive looking at him?

YOHANA: Relax, as long as we radiate confidence we’ll be fine. Follow my lead, look straight ahead.

ENOCH: A, to them, horrifying entity floats by, its eyes detaching to keep squinting at them long after they have passed. Its gaze makes their blood run cold and their hairs stand on end. Between us, prophets, it’s just Gabriel.

MAMRE: (under his breath) Perhaps it’s best if we avoid eye contact as well. 

YOHANA: No kidding. 

ENOCH: As they venture deeper into the upper echelons of the heavens, specifically between level 3 and 4, they have to pass through a section of Heaven’s records of crime. 

Mamre, who has been growing more and more anxious about what will happen if they get caught, wonders about all kinds of ways these unfathomable creatures can punish each other. The nano-encoded archive strands immediately react to Mamre’s thoughts. Mamre and Yohana are shown a scene from a court case from long ago.

MICHAEL: You have been found guilty of letting the snake into Eden. You are hereby sentenced to 22 uniturns in an empathy loop.

FLAMING SWORD: But we didn’t even see it!

MICHAEL: Inadvertent traitors are sentenced as regular traitors. May you do a better job at keeping your bright eyes open next time.

FLAMING SWORD: But sir, you programmed me with limited neurons and optical-

MICHAEL: Case dismissed.

ENOCH: And what the siblings see next is difficult to explain. The flaming sword in question had to experience not only the suffering caused by the snakes’ malevolent actions but also the rippling horrors that spread through time and across dimensions as a consequence. For what seemed an eternity they bore witness to the profound pain and despair their negligence had unleashed. 

FX: exit back into corridor

YOHANA: What the fuck! 

MAMRE: I know, same, but keep your voice down! 

YOHANA: Good thing we’re nowhere near the gates anymore. Those flaming swords are in major trouble.

MAMRE: We did that. They didn’t do anything wrong! We can… clear it up somehow.

YOHANA: And implicate us? No, Mamre. Your bleeding heart is not going to save the swords, and it’s not going to save us. 

MAMRE: But there’s still time, we can go back the way we came, explain that it’s a misunderstanding and that we’ll be out of their hair. Fire. Whatever.

YOHANA: This is just your nerves talking. Don’t you think I’m scared too? We can’t let that stop us.

MAMRE: I’m tired of you taking these big risks expecting me to follow blindly into whatever you throw yourself into. I’m only here to make sure you don’t die. I don’t know what I’d do without you.

YOHANA: Mamre, little brother. Have I ever let you down before? What do we do, Mamre? Whatever happens.

MAMRE: Please… take a moment, for once. This doesn’t even make any sense. Everything God has told us so far has been sketchy at best. Let’s just… stop. We can tell them it’s all a big misunderstanding and we’re not supposed to be here.

YOHANA: Ugh. Did it ever occur to you what would happen to us if we go back and face the Lord, explaining to him that “no, actually, we got scaaaared so we went back home”??  We’re in too deep already. Again, what do we do? Whatever happens….

Mamre?

MAMRE: Whatever happens… We survive.

YOHANA: That’s my little brother. 

MAMRE: Yeah. For sure. 

YOHANA: Oh hey, I think that is the rainbow road. According to the map, it should take us to–(she is swept off her feet as the ground moves underneath her) WOAH!

FX: turbo techno music

MAMRE: Make it stop! It’s going too fast!

YOHANA: I can’t! But look at the map! We’re approaching the forge super fast.

MAMRE: Nope, no. I can’t do this. I’m just gonna lay down. 

ENOCH: But that didn’t matter. On the rainbow road, you don’t have to move. It moves you.

SCENE: THE ARMORY

ENOCH: After many twists and turns, our magicians eventually make it to the armory. Weapons with radiating colors not quite perceivable by the human eye are showcased in meticulously ordered rows. An imperceivable distance down the corridor, they see what can only be the vicious angel God had told them about: Michael. She is currently busying herself polishing two swords that could cut through mountains like butter. She carries herself like someone who would have no problem wiping out a whole species as long as it was justified by God. And could then go out for drinks without missing a beat. She is righteous, she is mighty, and she is better than you. She’s also talking to someone.

MICHAEL: No it’s not really a matter of urgency. It’s not like it’s Code Blinding Light or anything. Humans don’t even need a soul until what, five-ten years? The throne is– hold on. Let me finish. It’s a delicate system but I’m not an idiot. I can figure it out. I’ve worked with the throne of God since it was built. Yeah. Yeah. No. Do not bring Samael into this. Spooky motherfuckers. They can stay right out of here, I don’t care that they’ve got clearance.

YOHANA: Alright, let’s do this. You talk to him and I will put a crack in one of the weapons. It will be just like the time when we broke into Moses’ metal workshop.

MAMRE: I don’t know if I have it in me. What if he realizes I’m not an angel? My head will roll before I even have time to blink, God said. And what does a screwdriver even look like?

YOHANA: Are you fucking kidding me. I thought you knew. Why didn’t you say anything!?

MAMRE: Oh and annoy the Lord God even more? No thank you! I should ask the same: Why didn’t you ask!?

YOHANA: Because you made it sound like you knew and I would have asked you afterwards!

MICHAEL: Can I help you?

ENOCH: Yohana quietly removes herself behind the shelves, leaving Mamre alone with Michael. He is once again not sure where to look. This is even worse than the flaming swords. Instead of no eyes, this entity has eyes everywhere – and they are moving around the room. The eyes begin to orbit Mamre, observing, scanning every molecule of him. He reminds himself of all the breathing exercises he has ever known, and avoiding Michael’s every floating eye, lets his gaze drift across the shelves instead. That gives him enough pause to refocus. It’s time for operation: annoying customer. 

MAMRE: I was wondering, see, I know these are very beautiful… weapony things. And I need a present for my friend. Like I really need it. You would do me such a big favor if you’d just give one to me. It would be a great opportunity for you to show off your craft!

MICHAEL: That is not how this works.

MAMRE: What for real? No gold?

MICHAEL: I do not need your metal. Tell me your station and your business.

MAMRE: Hey what’s this?

MICHAEL: You are fully capable of observing without touch.

MAMRE: I’m very tactile, I like to feel the weight of things. Hmm.

MICHAEL: Do not lick the swords.

ENOCH: Elsewhere in the armory, Yohana has set out looking for a steady mace or hammer. Each aisle is like a tunnel, covered with crystalline shelves rotating around the walkway, each section moving at a different speed. It’s quite nauseating and disorienting, and she briefly worries about finding her way back. Pushing that thought down in the overstuffed “future worries” box inside her brain, she tries to decipher what each item is for. The glyphs above the weapon stands have complicated symbols and don’t reveal anything about the usage to her. But Yohana doesn’t need instructions to wreak havoc. The rotating shelf kindly slows down for her when she reaches out for the sturdiest blunt looking weapon she can find. A rush of energy bolts through her body as she grabs it. Yohana has never felt more powerful in her life and she suspects that her body would not be able to withstand the energy without the protective amulet. If she got out of heaven even with only this weapon, she would be the most powerful woman on earth. But she decides that immortality is more valuable. Right. Time to cause trouble. Weapon in hand, she stalks through the armory looking for something valuable, but most of all breakable. As if on cue, a shelf moves aside right in front of her. She looks up at the most beautiful armor she has ever laid her eyes on, her jaw dropping.

YOHANA: (low, whispering) I’m so sorry for what I’m about to do to you.

FX: a few steps

YOHANA: (grunt of effort)

FX: funky sound effect of a weapon being used the wrong way

ENOCH: The whole stand cracks and the armor has shattered in a strange pattern.

In an instant, Michael is standing before her, energy thundering and thrashing around her. She was already at the end of her tether because of Mamre’s bartering.

MICHAEL: You come into my armory, you touch my wares and you even have the audacity to target practice on one of them! Tell me why I shouldn’t chain you up and sever your limbs from your body over and over again.

ENOCH: As Michael speaks, sparks fly out of her mouth, and Yohana involuntarily starts to cry. Her head feels like it’s going to explode any second.

YOHANA: I’m so sorry, Michael sir! It was an accident, I didn’t mean to.

MICHAEL: No! This was intentional!

FX: running fading in

MAMRE: (a little out of breath from running) Michael! Michael, please. My friend is not right in the head since the last great battle. Every time she sees a weapon, she gets possessed by memories. She can’t help it. I told her to stay outside, I did! But I guess the smell of WARFARE called out to her.

MICHAEL: I’m sorry, you… must have been on the forefront.

YOHANA: I was. I don’t remember much but as my friend says, the memories come back with full force when I do remember, so I try not to. How can I ever repay this mess?

MICHAEL: My wares will have to be repaired in the forge, of course.

ENOCH: This was going exactly according to plan. 

YOHANA: Of course, my bad, lead the way!

MICHAEL: You will of course not be allowed in the forge, because of your… weak sensibilities. We take trauma recovery very seriously. Surprised you haven’t gotten any information about that. So you!

MAMRE: Me??

MICHAEL: …will work your friends’ debt off. Come along.

FX: Michael grabs Mamre

MAMRE: Huh? Wha? 

YOHANA: But I was the one who…. what!? Okay uh. I’ll see you later Fos!

MAMRE: Uh yeah! For sure! Fuhhh foros!

ENOCH: Being separated was not part of the plan.

SCENE: THE FORGE

ENOCH: Time in the heavens does not work like the restricted linear time of humans. While waiting for Mamre’s release, Yohana spends her time scouting the nearby area, keeping tabs on the angels’ routines and completing their map with further useful information. She makes one especially concerning discovery: the seraphim. But we’ll get to that.

Mamre spends a considerable amount of time in the forge. Unsurprisingly, everything he touched, he made worse than the initial damage. One day Michael has had enough.

MICHAEL: No, no, NO. That’s it. Get out. 

MAMRE: But what about–

MICHAEL: Consider the debt repaid, just go.

FX: rattle of metal tools, stumbling footsteps

MAMRE: Okay, okay! I’m leaving. (panting, scared, gasping, like he’s running for his life) Right right. (quietly to himself) Screwdriver, screwdriver, screwdriver. Uhhh. Shit. What IS all this?

MICHAEL: (far away) Get out of my FORGE!

FX: grabbing of a tuning fork and loudly smuggling it under clothing

MAMRE: Yep! Okay! Leaving! (to himself, repeating it like a mantra to calm himself down:) Whatever happens, we survive, whatever happens, we survive, whatever happens…(fading out)

ENOCH: Success. Or is it? Mamre did bring something with him from the forge. He swings it triumphantly when he meets Yohana.

MAMRE: I got it!

YOHANA: Great! So you did find out what a screwdriver was, I was worried.

MAMRE: Right. Okay. As a matter of fact, I don’t know what this is. But I’m sure it does the job. 

FX: knocking a tuning fork against a hard surface

MAMRE: See? If it wasn’t a screwdriver, it would not make that sound. 

ENOCH: Michael watches the airheaded angels disappear down the corridor, talking enthusiastically, about some nonsense most likely. Ever since she first met the incompetent angels, she has had a strange tingling feeling at the back of her head. She can’t quite place it. She thought it was the usual irritation, but it feels different. It’s only when she picks up the useless armor to chuck it in the scrap container, that she puts the pieces together. How could she be so stupid? This has the Morningstar’s pretty little signature all over it.

END OF PART 1.